As I was doing my weekly reading of PostSecret.com I came across this interesting secret and e-mailed comment. The picture is the posted "secret." Here is the e-mailed response to this particular secret:
-----Email Message-----
Sent: Sunday, February 24, 2008 10:52 AM
Subject: To the teacher
Our children are our lives and we're in your classroom because we know how little some of you really care about them and about us. Our little secret? We don't trust you with our children unless we're keeping an eye on you.
In class, we have been reading literature and commenting on how at fault parents can be for their children's lack of education/their actions. Sometimes we, although teaching is a powerful profession, some teachers may come off as omniscient in all aspects of a child's life and there for may do what is "best" for that child. However, how are we to judge what is best for a child we are not with every minute of the day. Parents are just as skeptical of teachers as teachers can be of parents. Is this a viable concern? Do parents have a right to question teachers and keep a watchful eye on them? Why aren't teachers trusted? Do you think this opinion differs from urban to suburban school? Do you think the quality of teachers in urban schools are not up to par? What if this was your child? What can WE do to change this?
I know this post does not have entirely an urban education tone, however I was intrigued by this "secret" and was wondering what others thought. Plus, we have been talking so much about race, I kind of wanted to go another way. But if you think race matters here...post away...I am interested.
Also, side note...someone brought up in class a few weeks ago that we do all this talking, but what are WE going to do? Anyone have any ideas?
8 comments:
Okay so I saw this on Sunday and was really shocked by the fact that the teacher was the one who didnt want the parents in the classroom. I know most of my teachers loved when parents came to help out or do a lesson.
I do feel that parents have a right not to trust teachers...I mean look around and look how many teachers have either molested their students or hit them or mentally or emotionally abused the students. The only way for a parent to trust you with their child, with their blood, their life, is by showing the parents that you are a good, caring teacher who wants whats best for their child. There are so many teachers out there who only got into teaching because they were not sure what to do with their lives and figured teaching would be easy. I hear it all the time, I see it all the time. I was in line at an Education meeting when a girl behind me said that she wasnt even sure if she wanted to teach it just seemed like the best option. Why do so many college students turn to teaching just because it seems easy. I dont think they realize its really hard work and you have to love your students!!
To me this postsecret is a teacher frustrated with a parents involvement and thinking that the parent is overstepping his/her boundaries. The reaction of the parent is I come in because I don't trust you. I would say both parties need to step it up and include each other in on what they deem important. Parents should not just be allowed to come in and volunteer as an outside spectator-they should feel involved in the process. Teachers should welcome parent enthusiasm and channel it productively. This can only result in the parent trusting the teacher. (and the loss of a headache)
The "secret does not really shock me at all.For one, I believe it is great for parents to join the classroom to help out. It is also good for parents to come in so they might be able to look closely at how they can further help their child in a particular subject area. On the other hand, parents can be a distraction to the child's education if they are always "volunteering". For example, I work at Metcalf pre-school helping children build their reading and writing skills, and one particular parent always comes in to "volunteer". She thinks she is benefiting her child by leaving work early everyday to come play with her child during our session hours. While it is true that parents are free to join us at any time, this parent is taking away from the program by playing instead of practicing reading and writing like we do. Once, she even started a big ring around the rosey circle around the whole classroom while we were supposed to be practicing our writing through a mystery activity. It is beneficial to have parents come help push the students further in education, but when they become a hinderance, it becomes a problem.
I also believe that this has nothing to do with race or income. If many of the poorer black families had more opportunities or even the time to come volunteer, I believe they would. Those families care about the ongoings at school just as much as other parents. Parents who tend to have more time to volunteer tend to have more money.
When I read this e-mail I wasn't surprised. I think the reason why parents are saying "we don't trust you" is because they want the teacher to pay attention to their child and only their child. I have a huge problem with this. I have experienced this when I was a child and when I was in a 2nd grade classroom for a year. What annoys me is that, yes parents want whats best for their children but they don't see the rest of the classroom.
When a 'concerned' parent comes in, they see the teacher and the teacher's attention that is directed to their child and/or lack their of. That is where the problems of the parents saying they 'don't trust the teacher' because they don't trust that the teacher is paying attention to their precious baby. Don't think I'm making this up cuz I have watched with my own eyes.
When my parents came to help or volunteer, my parents focused on the whole classroom. They watched the teacher, the other students, me, and the room it self. They were able to tell me all sorts of observations they've made. Where a family friend of ours did the same thing then would come back and tell of the stories of how the teacher got mad at their child cuz they were being disruptive, how they didn't call on their child first when they had their hand raised with other children. Not only is this happening behind the back of the teacher but it happens in their face as well. When I was in the 2nd grade classroom a parent told my teacher that since there was 2 of us there should be no problem that one of us should always be watching their child. Now that is ridiculous!! I get caring for their child, but last time I counted there was another 25 children of the same age that need the same things if not more or less then your child.
I agree that parent involvement is key and needs to be done in the classroom, but there are rules and guidelines that both parents and teachers need to follow. If that happens, then this "secret" won't exist. But that will come with each class and each group of parents.
I also saw this on Sunday while I was reading PostSecret and, at first, thought wow these parents must be the annoying, I'll be involved in everything type of parents similar to the way my step-mom was with my half-sisters.
But then I thought again and in every one of my education classes we discuss ways we can involve parents in the classroom more frequently. Shouldn't overly involved parents be a good thing? It almost makes me feel like the teacher has something to hide.
I understand parents not being able to trust teachers. I would probably have to agree with the other posts on this one and have the parents and teachers come up with some sort of compromise. It's understandable that the parents want to be involved and have a close watch over their children but it is also the teacher's classroom. Parents should feel free to voice their concerns and have the right to help out in the classroom. After all, as future educators, aren't we always looking for ways to bring in the parents? Well look, it's already been done for us!
I can understand why a teacher may not want parents in their classroom. Parents think that their children are the most important child in a class. They think that if a teacher is not constantly paying attention to their child that something may be missed. Parents are usually a positive addition to classrooms. However, when they believe their child is not getting the attention they deserve they can make a fuss. Many times their complaining will stop but there are the parents who are relentless .I can also understand why parents feel the need to be in classrooms to watch over their children. They have to put their faith into people that they have never meet to educate their children. Teachers spend lots of time with their children and they want to make sure that things are going well. With all of the negative news that ahs been surrounding teachers and their conduct with their students it is no wonder that parents would want to spend their time in their childrens classrooms. I think it is up to teachers as well as parents to come to an understanding of how things are going to be in regards to parent involvement in classrooms.
In a class I took last semester we talked about parents in classrooms... parent/teacher conferences - how teachers prepare for them and how the personalities of different parents become clear in this situation. We did a mock parent/teacher conference, and it was really interesting to see the outcomes. We split up into groups and came up with questions (parents thought about their "kids" and the homework/projects/etc. they come home with... teachers thought about the students and what they would say about them, and about the homework, projects, testing they give). After the whole thing we discussed how different we thought it would be. The "teachers" were taken back by some of the "parents"... not knowing how to respond to demands and questions. The "parents" were also taken back by some of the "teachers" responses. It was a great activity, and it gave us a little perspective.
I definitely feel that parents have a right to question/ be concerned about teachers. When I was younger, I had a kindergarten teacher who told us that she had a friend in the circus, and if we misbehaved, she would have him come to class and lock us in cages like the animals (true story). Of course, I told my mother, who of course told the principal and even though our teacher continued to teach us, I remember there being other parents and such in the room with her. Of course, not all teachers are like this; but not all teachers care about their students either. In high school, I remember reading in my books, while some teachers read the paper, not teaching me much while doing so. So yes, parents have every right to be concerned about what goes on in their children's classrooms.
I am a part of the Multicultural Mentorship Program here at school, and while being introduced to Gregory School, where our mentees are, the Vice-Principal informed us that they had an open door policy, and parents were able to come into the school at anytime to observe their child's classroom. I thought this was a great policy for two reasons. First, it allows parents to be an active member of their child's education and to see first hand what they are learning; and second it allows parents to better help their children with their homework, for the parent is seeing first hand what their student is learning. Granted, I can see how this policy can be distracting to the classroom atmosphere, however, we saw one parent watching his son's class, and he had to sit outside the doorway in a chair, and was not allowed in the class. I thought this was a great way to avoid having the parent be a distraction to his child, or any other students.
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